A Glob in the Heart - by Mark

Yesterday was a bit more exciting that we had planned.  At about 2:50 PM I got a call from Dr. Smith's office indicating that the radiologist that was reviewing the PET scan found a lime sized glob in the right ventricle of my heart.  They consulted with a cardiologist and determined that I should get to an ER right away and they would prefer I get to Provident Portland as that is where all the images are that they might need.  I asked if I could drive myself and they suggested I have someone else drive.   I called Ane and she started to get ready. Tyler was in my office and suggested he take me and Mom meet us there.  On the way out Michael asked where we were going; we told him so he joined us.  When we arrived there were about 50 people in the waiting room, but when we explained why we were there they got us into a room within 3 minutes.  First I got to put on the hospital mini-skirt with the airy backside; then the nurses immediately checked all three vitals at once while sticking on the hair pulling echo-cardiogram patches and hooking up the wires.  They did their test, took blood, and set up an IV all within about 10 minutes.  Everything seemed normal so they said they would check with the doctor that had us come in, and get back with us.  We sat and visited for the next two and a half hours before they would let us go, checking in every 30 minutes or so.  We had fun working out details of my funeral, as only funeral planners could :) and discussing other fun things.  Finally we were told that we should call tomorrow to get an MRI of my heart as an outpatient, and we could go home.  

Just as we were about to leave, the ER Doctor said something that indicated that she had the PET scan report.  We told her that we had not heard the results so she went and got it so that she would be accurate.  She read in a very matter of fact manner from the report that it appeared to be metastatic cancer. There were multiple nodules in each lung, one in the liver, one in the heart (which she had never heard of so she looked on the internet to be sure and found that it does happen but is rare), one in the muscle tissue beside the spinal column in my back, one in my hip and one in the muscle tissue of each thigh.  So with that bright news she left.  I am sure we all looked rather stunned, but we were free to go.   Tyler pointed out that my feet were good and I mentioned my head was clear too.  It is just the middle part that is not so good.   When they put the nuclear stuff in your veins it is in a sucrose transporter.  The sucrose goes straight to the cancer so when the PET scan is done the cancer parts light up the screen nicely.  So I was thinking my PET scan must have looked like Van Gogh's painting, Starry Night! :)

I will get an Echo cardiogram tomorrow morning at 10 am.   We have our first recommended Oncologist visit at 4:20 PM tomorrow and squeezed in a second opinion doctor that is highly recommend from a different source at 9:00 AM tomorrow.  Tonight we are filling out paperwork for our appointments tomorrow, writing up questions and looking at statistics of cure methodologies.

Generally our spirits are good.  We are working at it, trying to do what we think and feel is best.  We have told several of our family and friends and all are loving and supportive.  There are many praying and sending very loving and positive thoughts our way.  We are still trying to keep it quiet because Rachel does not know.  We have considered how we might tell her and at this point would like to keep our current plans for Ane to go down in two weeks and bring her back.  In the next day or so we should know more of the prognosis.

Each of us has moments of tears and heart ache.  We love each other so much and don't like the thought of being apart at all.  Thoughts of not being able to be a Dad and Grandpa for the next 30 years are tender.  I was walking into a Whole Foods store this afternoon and saw some tulips for sale and thought of Ane and couldn't help but cry.  Who will bring her flowers?  I love her dearly.  But, most of the time we are positive and working to do all we can to be here as long as we can.  Fortunately we understand what is on the other side of the veil and it is wonderful.  We would just rather go later and closer together.