A Roller Coaster

I don't like to be a whiner and I know that I've been blessed immensely, nevertheless, I am human, and the past few weeks have been for me a roller-coaster of emotions!

With Mark's immune system so aggressively attacking his body, we were confident that it was also attacking the cancer.  Our hopes were high that we could be done with cancer, and that is still a possibility! About two weeks ago, Mark informed me that he was having pain in the same place in his abdomen where the last tumor had been.  While it was mild, we had to face the fact that a tumor could be growing again.  The following Saturday night he awoke to intense pain.  Afterwards, I couldn't sleep and by morning I was convinced that the cancer had returned.  That Sunday I was quite emotional.  During church the opening hymn was "How Firm a Foundation", the song that was sung the Sunday after we found out about the cancer eight years ago.  It has become our theme song.  It should have given me comfort with these words, "Fear not, I am with thee, oh be not dismayed, for I am thy God and will still give the aid." Unfortunately, it only reminded me of how I felt that day knowing that my dearest friend and sweetheart likely had only months to live.  How could I live without him?!! 

The following day, Monday the 27th of January, Mark had a CT Scan.  Dr. Urba typically lets us know the results right away, but he didn't.  That did NOT give me any comfort.  Tuesday the tests results were in My Chart with a note from Dr. Urba, that it was a mixed scan.  There was no evidence of new tumors, and the existing ones did not look active.  He wasn't concerned.  That was a relief and I once again had some hope that the cancer was gone.  Within a day or two, Mark's pain intensified.  Because we went through this scenario last year at this time, we are not as confident as we'd like to be.

Yesterday, we met with Dr. Urba.  He is hopeful that the pain is from scar tissue which can be irritating or perhaps something else causing the discomfort.  However, we are to monitor the pain for the next two weeks.  If it persists or worsens, a PET scan will be ordered.  PET's are much more accurate because they actually highlight the cancer, whereas the CT is only a 3-dimensional X-ray.  While we aren't giving up hope, we are also realistic.  

Mark is down to 10 mg/day of Prednisone.  While the fatigue sometimes hampers his ability to do what he'd like, and he has had some dizziness and nausea, it hasn't been too bad.  He is excited to get off of it.  With time, his body will adjust. 

With that all said, yes, it has been an emotional roller coaster!  We truly appreciate the help and support we have received, and hope we can give that kind of love and support to others in their times of need.  Ultimately, we recognize that it is all in the Lord's hands and  those are hands we trust!